Matsuda's Gift
by Shadow in the Shadow
Summary: When my bell rings for the last time I am staring into the face of Kira. I find that there is only one person left who can see me. Now, to solve the Kira case I must use Matsuda's previously unknown gift of sight without getting him thrown into an asylum.
1. Prologue

**Date Posted  
**Saturday the 23rd of August 2008

* * *

**Blanket Disclaimer  
**I, for reasons unknown, do not own Death Note or any relating characters, objects, or places. I would ask the person who originally drew up the Manga for ownership, although that would obviously end up as a very blatant "No.".  
**  
Spoilers:**  
Episode 25

* * *

**Matsuda's Gift  
Written by Shadow in the Shadow**

* * *

**Prologue**

Today was it.

Something in my mind told me that today was it. Maybe it was my natural instincts, making the church bells chime in my head. Or maybe I could always tell that these days were to be my last. After all, with Kira on the loose, any day could be any criminal or investigator's last. But today... the feeling was stronger than usual. A sick feeling in my stomach and the chiming in my head all told me that I'd better tie the loose ends up now, before it was too late.

Head spinning, I pulled himself out of bed from the first decent amount of sleep I'd had in a long time. I could see rain pouring down outside, lightening arcing across the sky, thunder rumbling warningly overhead. Sitting in my usual unusual position on my chair, I looked outside innocently at the building storm.

"So today is the day I lose..."

The rain became even heavier, almost responding to my statement. I sighed deeply; I had a lot planned out but still unfinished.

"I guess it doesn't matter now; it can't be helped – even without the gut feeling there is still logically a 95 percent chance that I will end up dying today, or some time very soon. I need some tea."

Steadily, I lifted myself from my seat and made the tea in my kitchen, making sure to put no-less than five cubes of sugar in with it. As I took a sip, I decided that it wasn't quite sweet enough, and added yet another cube.

As far as I was concerned, I knew that I had about one more day to catch Light as Kira. I also knew that there was a miserable 0.6 percent chance that that would actually happen.

Contemplating my own thoughts, I sipped my tea while still holding the handle in an odd position. Once I'd finished it, there was still sugar residue in the bottom from all of the sugar cubes I'd added. Without hesitating, I put my littlest finger in, scooping the sugar off and sucking it off from my finger. As far as I was concerned, death was just infinite nothingness – a place where you could quite obviously receive no tea, sugar, cakes or other sweet pastries. So I knew that I'd better make the most of it now while I wasn't lost in oblivion.

Well, at least I was prepared. I knew that Watari would look after everything just fine – and if something should happen to him, he was going to wipe all the computers of their information. It would be up to Mello and Near to catch Kira then – and they were certainly capable... even if they both had their flaws.

"Stop thinking so morbidly." I suddenly scolded myself, shaking my head. "It's just a gut-feeling..." It was then that it really dawned on me that my gut-feelings were generally right from the moment they entered the pit of my stomach. And thinking of stomach...

I eyed the refrigerator with interest, knowing that there was a variety of assorted cakes and muffins in there. As I pulled the fridge open, there was also the sound of the lift to my floor of the building opening up.

"Ryuuzaki... you're still in pajamas?" Light asked. "It's ten am already. You've got to get down and keep investigating Kira with us. Besides, weren't you the one who never sleeps?"

"I sleep for three hours a day every day of the year, and yet you are complaining when I finally get nine hours?" I asked him, slightly irritably. Normally I was hard to irritate, but in the mornings when I just get out of bed, somebody interrupting my chain of thoughts can annoy me to know extent.

"...Oh... yeah, sorry. It's just... I have a good feeling about today, you know? Despite all of the bad weather, of course. I just can't help but feel as though something major will happen."

_Major, such as you successfully murdering me, Kira._

"Light, just let me have my breakfast and then I'll come down." I said, pulling an already cut slice of cake from the fridge. "I can't do all this thinking on an empty stomach, you know."

"I'd never let you loose in a bakery..." Light said, light-heartedly rolling his amber-coloured eyes. "I'll meet you down there."

_I'll meet you there too... But I'd sincerely like to know if I was talking to Light Yagami or Kira._

I was definitely talking to Kira. When Light had mentioned that he thought that something major would happen, I saw Kira in those no-longer amber but red, angry eyes. There was no doubt in my mind.

Ignoring my gut feeling, I took my pyjamas off and finally put on my usual shirt and jeans. Today, I just didn't _feel _like investigating, for the first time in my life. My mind kept wandering to other, less desirable things other than catching Kira, like an image of myself lying limp on the floor at Kira's hand...

* * *

The day went slowly, to say the least. I decided that I should get the notebook away from Light's hands as soon as possible... something that was more easily said than done. However... I did have a plan – that thirteen day rule just didn't match up, or both Light and Misa would be as good as dead by now. But neither were, which didn't just suggest, but proved that the rule was false. So I told Watari that we would test it with two criminals who were about to be executed – which would also get the notebook away from Light's hands, effectively killing two birds with one stone.

Once I told the taskforce about the plan, they objected, saying that they all already knew that the Death Note was for real. However... I ignored their protest against it, finally finishing by firmly stating that the case would be solved... for good.

However... things began to go wrong. Very wrong. All the lights in the room became red as the emergency signal. I stared at Watari through the video transmitter...

He was having a heart attack.

"Watari!"

The older dying man reached out with his last ounce of strength, pushing the complete data deletion button. When the message finally appeared on the screen, I knew that Watari was dead.

"Data deletion... what the hell's going on?!"

"...I told Watari... to make sure that he erased all information in the event that something would happen to him."

I ignored the shocked gasps and comments from the other members of the taskforce, knowing the only being that could have done it, as Light was in the same room and had not written in the Death Note, and he did not know my name, either.

"Where's the Shinigami?" I asked quickly. Nobody could see it – it wasn't in the room anymore. The bells, they began to ring louder and louder. For the first time in my life, I began to panic, but made sure I was still thinking clearly. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, but I didn't let it distract me. "Everyone, the Shiniga-!"

There was a horrible throb in my chest, but I didn't even need that to tell me what was happening. The spoon I was holding for my cake slid from my fingers while I was unable to hold myself upright anymore. The pain was incredible – my eyes were open wider than I had ever let them be before, and I couldn't even summon the strength to clutch my throbbing heart.

"Ryuuzaki!" Light yelled, catching me just before I hit the ground. His eyes looked those of a scared child, unsure of what to do.

_...Light Yagami..._

Suddenly, the scared child's eyes flashed and changed. They became narrowed into two red-ringed circles, their owners face becoming a twisted grin.

_So... I..._

My strength was quickly slipping away. I briefly wondered how long it would take before I was lost to this world.

_I wasn't wrong..._

I could barely keep my eyes open any longer – they felt so heavy... the world was spinning...

_But... ... I..._

I slipped out of consciousness as the world shifted from spinning to nothing. There was literally nothing left to grasp onto, not life, not a heartbeat, not a breath... not even pain. The only thing that I knew of now was thought – I couldn't feel, all I could do was think...

_You won, Kira._

I couldn't even determine time anymore – wherever I was... nothingness... it was timeless. It could have been hours, days, weeks, months... _years _that I was in this state and I wouldn't have been able to determine the difference. I couldn't tell – it was nothingness to the full extent of the word. It wasn't even black – I couldn't see at all.

Eventually... after who-knows how long, the infinite darkness spun back into existence. Was... was I getting somewhere? It was most-certainly a change from seeing literally nothing. Time began to start making a little more sense; I had a very faint idea on how much of it was passing. I began to wonder if I could bring it all back, so I tried to focus properly and pull my consciousness out from inside the void.

I had no idea how I was doing it, but it was slowly working. Outlines of moving shapes began to become visible, although it was still very hard to make it all out. It took a painstakingly long amount of time before I could see properly again and to regain my sense of touch, but at least I could.

Suddenly, a thought crossed my slightly dazed mind. I had survived the Death Note? No one had survived Kira, and yet I had...?

Light Yagami, who was still clutching my limp form, screamed at the top of his lungs that he and the rest of the taskforce were coming next. Everyone braced themselves as I looked around weakly. Couldn't they see that my eyes were open and that I was conscious...?

After a little while, they all began to calm down. But I was beginning to wonder why they weren't realising that a Kira victim had just woken up from the dead. Steadily, I tried to move one of my arms, but it felt like it was glued in place. I tried harder to move, getting barely anywhere. I strained to pull myself to my feet and out of Light's hold, finally able to move again. At that moment, I had a very horrible realisation – I had never reawakened from Kira's attack. I looked down with interest and slight repulsion at my old limp form from just above it, my mouth open ever-so slightly. I was usually a lot more hardened than this and able to cope with shock quite easily, but it's a whole different experience when the most recent Kira victim was _yourself_, and you were hanging in midair with no support.

All that anyone payed any attention to was the me that quite simply wasn't me anymore. Except for Matsuda - he gazed at me for a moment, his breaths quickening. He swallowed, and then returned his attention back to where everyone else's attention lay to avoid questioning glances.

I watched the man closely, ignoring Light's screams that Kira would pay for what he'd done – it was obvious they were blatant lies anyway. I knew what had just happened to me and, although but... had it been a fluke that Matsuda had been staring at the place where I was suspended in midair? With that look of pure shock painted across his face?

Matsuda could see me, at least. Maybe, through him, I could prove that Light Yagami was Kira, even without a physical form. I knew very well that it wasn't going to be easy, especially through Matsuda's innocent mind, but so far, I could see it as the only way.

Now another question came to mind – because he could see me, did that mean he could hear me? Or for that matter, what if everyone else could hear me, too?

I'd just have to find out.

* * *

**Author's Note  
**This is my first Death Note fanfiction, so I'm hoping that so far it's going well. I do intend to update as regularly as possible, and I know that I'd sincerely appreciate any constructive criticism you can throw at me. Flames are _not _appreciated, however. So... cookies to reviewers with kind words, or words of advice!  
Just two little extra notes: I use Australian English, not American English. I checked this through a few times, so if you spot a mistake or two, it's more than likely that it's spelled differently here than America. Secondly, I don't particularly like slash, or romance in general really. So I'm afraid that you're going to have to get the romance fix somewhere else.  
-Shadow in the Shadow-


	2. In Which Contains an Opportunity

**Date Posted:  
**Saturday the 30th of August 2008

* * *

**Chapter 1  
Opportunity**

I watched the taskforce for the rest of the day very closely – particularly Matsuda and Light. Light, because I was wondering if his most recent and 'most prized' kill would bring on any Kira-like behaviour, and Matsuda because I was 98.5 percent sure that there was some special ability that he possessed that allowed him to see me.

However... it seemed that Light Yagami was very good at covering his tracks; there was nothing about his face that even _suggested_ that he was Kira for the _entire _day – it would have been impossible for anyone on the now-reduced taskforce to pick up on it. Matsuda, however, was a little less obvious when it came to hiding what he could see; as he continued to steal quick, nervous glances at me whenever he thought that no one was looking. It inevitably picked up the very sharp attention of Light.

"Hey, Matsuda, what are you staring at?" he asked, still some artificial grief left in traces of his voice. Matsuda abruptly stopped looking at me, turning his head to face Light's suspiciously fast.

"Nothing!" came his nervous reply. "I was just... thinking, that's all..."

Light lowered an eyebrow, not looking terribly convinced. "You... sound a little highly-strung at the moment... and you're pale. Is L's death eating at you...?"

"Yeah, it is a bit... I know he went to some unnecessary extremes at times – and I didn't like them at all – but... I miss him already..." I was surprised at how convincing he sounded at the moment – which was a lot different to the usual very-easy-to-read-when-lying Matsuda I knew. He used the sentence Light had given him and worked out from it to make a very believable lie.

"Alright." Light replied, going back to what he was doing. "But if you need something... you know, all you have to do is ask."

* * *

By the time everyone had begun to go home, the ambulance had been called and both Watari and I were declared dead, both killed by nearly-simultaneous heart attacks. The paramedics didn't seem to care too much that neither of us possessed any form of identification; they seemed a lot more worried by the fact that there were now Kira victims who hadn't done anything to earn themselves a day in court or a cell in prison now.

The taskforce had also found what appeared to be the sandy remains of Rem, although they weren't too sure on what it was – the only way I knew was by spying on Light, and managing to catch him remove the Death Note from the dusty pile before the rest came in. He grinned, showing the horrible blood-red eyes of Kira whilst stuffing the notebook in his overly-formal jacket. I would have made an attempt to snatch it before he did, but I'd already learned that it was impossible for me to touch anything anymore – my fingers would just slip right through as though the objects simply weren't even there. It annoyed me to no extent, but now I guess that I should have expected nothing less than that.

As night turned to midnight, most of the taskforce headed home. I decided to watch Light another time and follow Matsuda instead – I already knew without a doubt that Light was Kira, so there was no need at all to reconfirm it. Matsuda conveniently lived only a few blocks from the headquarters, so instead of driving, he merely walked home despite the lateness of the night.

As he walked, he looked as though he was trying his very best to ignore me, keeping his eyes looking straight into a direct line towards his apartment. When he was in his apartment, I figured that he'd be a little less wary about talking to me – and I'd be a little less paranoid about being overheard. I still had no idea if he'd be able to hear me as well as he could see me though, so the whole thing was a bit dicey. And I wasn't sure if _everyone _could hear me, either, as I hadn't tested it yet. And I sure didn't think that a disembodied voice talking to Matsuda in the middle of the night would go down too well with the people who just happened to be passing by.

Matsuda opened the door to the apartment complex where he lived, making sure to close and lock it behind himself. I ignored the locked door, moving straight through it and following him up the stairs all the way to his room on the seventh floor. He entered his apartment and put the bag that he'd taken to work down by the front door. Our eyes met and we stared at each other in nervous silence. I finally broke it; if I had have left that small job to Matsuda, we'd have been there for years.

"Matsuda?" I'd finally spoken. I put my left hand to my throat very quickly, noticing that my voice certainly didn't sound much like it was coming from my vocal chords, but more from somewhere very far away. "You can see me, correct?"

The man standing in front of me was now becoming slightly paler than he'd been earlier, although still managed a quick nod. Another period of nervous silence swept over us, but eventually subsided when Matsuda finally managed to say something.

"...How...?"

"I don't know." I replied to him, going back to the habit of biting my thumbnail. I tried to get my feet as close as possible to the floor without accidentally passing through it. "It defies too many scientific laws to count... and yet here it is – smacking us both in the face."

Matsuda shifted his weight from side-to-side uncomfortably. "You're not wrong there..." In an attempt to sound as though everything were normal, he continued casually, "You know... I was going to get some pizza delivered... if you want some, I can buy extra. Or if you don't like that, I've got a cream cake in the fridge..."

I felt a sharp twinge of regret, knowing that if I couldn't touch anything, then I certainly wasn't going to be capable of eating – no matter how much I wanted to. Matsuda looked apologetic after I informed him of this slight disability, but I brushed it off – there was no use feeling regretful or apologetic now; it was far too late to head back.

"Well... you don't mind if I order some pizza for myself anyway, do you...?"

"No."

Matsuda went ahead and dialled for the home delivery service, still glancing at me every now and then. I really couldn't blame him; he wasn't the bravest person in the world and he was certainly a 

fairly bad target for shock. As he put the phone back on the receiver, Matsuda went and sat down on his couch, leaning forward of the back. He looked to me as though he wanted to ask something, although it took him a minute to gather himself together to do so.

"Ryuuzaki... could I ... ask you a question...?"

"Yes, on the condition that I know the answer."

"Well... why do you think ... that I can see you?"

"No idea." I answered truthfully. "It could be something to do with the way your brain functions, or a certain chemical that allows your eyes to see those on a completely different plain of existence, but honestly, that's just a rough guess – it could be any number of things."

"No, but... that's not quite what I meant..." I raised an eyebrow, continuing to bite my thumbnail again. "I meant... why can I only see you? I mean, I've never seen a... a ghost before."

"I still couldn't give you an answer that I was even five percent sure on." I replied. Matsuda seemed a little disappointed – he must have been curious and under the impression that being in my current state would somehow allow me to 'know' things like this. Unfortunately for the both of our curiosities, it didn't.

Matsuda and I didn't talk much until the pizza arrived – it was still all a little awkward. However, once he was beginning to eat his late-night dinner, I finally decided to ask.

"The reason I followed you all the way home – I need to ask you a favour that I'd really and honestly appreciate."

"It has something to do with the Kira case, doesn't it?"

"Yes. In fact, I'd be disappointed in you if you hadn't guessed that. I'm not going to let this setback stop me from investigating and gathering evidence for this case – but obviously, I'm going to need some help. What I need to do is act through _you._"

Matsuda nodded, before taking another slice of pizza from the box, watching a long strand of cheese stretch and dangle from it. "So basically... you're going to tell me what to do and try to prove things that you suspect or know by using me...? I don't know that I'm up to that sort of thing, Ryuuzaki..."

"You'll be fine." I replied with a wry look on my face, giving the other man an attempted pat on the back. I grinned slightly, watching the hunch that he currently had in his back shoot up straight with a violent shiver.

"Please, don't do that!"

"Oh, sorry - I had no idea."

Matsuda glared at me unhappily. "Yes, you did."

"Well... regardless of that... are you still willing to work under my command? To do everything that I say exactly the way I say it? Still willing to risk your _life _to catch Kira? Because if you're not, don't say 'yes'."

The man eating pizza in front of me stopped dead and stayed that way for a good long while, before finally giving me his reply. "Ryuuzaki... I'm not willing to do this."

"What?"

"I said that I'm not going to..."

"But why? You're still under command of exactly the same person."

"Because..." Matsuda fiddled with his fingers nervously, biting back on his lip. "If Kira finds out that I can still contact you... he'll write my name in that book and that'll be the end of me..."

"But you said that you were willing to risk your life for this earlier – why's it stopping you now?"

"Because it was never this dangerous... Ryuuzaki... I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I have to refuse. I'm going to investigate Kira my own way with the taskforce and pretend we never had this meeting."

Matsuda nervously wrapped a loose string of cheese from the pizza around his finger and sighed before taking another bite. I watched him for a moment chewing slightly harder on my thumbnail. "Don't you want to catch Kira in the act?"

"I want to catch Kira. But I'm sorry – I'm going to do it myself. Even though I said I was willing to put my life on the line for this case... I'm not willing to put it this close to the edge of the line."

"But I _need _to solve this case... I can only do it with your help, now! It's not like anyone else will take any notice of me anymore. If you stick to the instructions that I will give you, I promise that no one will find out that I even _exist_ anymore."

Matsuda finished off his third slice of pizza, closed the lid of the box and put it in the fridge. "Again... I'm sorry Ryuuzaki, but I'm not cut out for this... especially when I'm sure that the taskforce will be able to do it alone. Look... if things... start to get really, really bad, then I promise I'll turn to you."

"But they already are desperate – criminals are dropping off like they've been infected with the plague. Matsuda, if you and the taskforce go it alone, it'll be the Black Death all over again. Surely you don't want that?"

"But..."

"You know that if you don't accept my help now, things will only get worse. You are a capable taskforce, and I don't doubt your abilities – but you have to face it that Kira – Light Yagami – is a person of an intelligence that most-certainly rivals mine. By killing me, he has already won. You know it yourself that the taskforce cannot do this alone – especially when none of you would even give Light a second thought without me around."

"But see? You _still _think it's Light, and I know that it's not. By taking a move against Light, it could alert the real Kira of your existence and then... we all know what happens next. I'm not doing it, and I'm going to bed, Ryuuzaki... goodnight."

I sighed, watching my only form of communication wander off to his bedroom, closing the door behind him and silently but clearly stating that he didn't want to be a part of this. Knowing that it would be pointless to attempt to egg him on tonight, I left his apartment and headed out onto the dark late-night streets of Japan. It wasn't like him to refuse something like this, but obviously, my death had shown him, and no-doubt the rest of the team, just how easy it was to lose in this life.

I felt, for the first time in my life, anxious of what was to come. If I couldn't get Matsuda to listen to reason, then no one else on the taskforce could help me, because none of them would even know I was there except for him. Granted, maybe they'd be able to hear me, but... then they may begin to think they were hearing voices in their head, and that just wouldn't do. Matsuda was realistically my only particularly good chance at this. But getting him to work under me again obviously was going to be the hard part.

I continued through the streets back to the taskforce's headquarters, where I awaited the morning. I would just have to try again then – I'd run out of other options.

* * *

**Author's Note  
**Yes, Matsuda refused to help him. Poor L isn't having a lot of luck at the moment – but can you imagine that? Say you were working under L, the greatest detective alive, and then he just dies on you? I imagine that Matsuda would have become a lot less naïve in those few minutes that he lay dying on the floor, realising that literally anyone can die for one of the first times in his life.

And I'd like to thank Teenager, Sahxyel, CranberrieYogurt, cheatachu82 and -Bista- for their kind reviews. Cookies to you guys. Please review and critique! :D  
-Shadow in the Shadow-


	3. In Which L Has a Problem

* * *

**Date Posted  
**Sunday the 14th of September 2008

**Chapter 2**

**In Which L has a Problem**

Soichiro Yagami drove home that night with a very blank expression on his face. It seemed that he was trying to suppress his emotions from Light; attempting to act strongly for his son. Light had exactly the same expression set in stone on his face, unmoving, and from what I knew, uncaring, too. It was rather sad to see the only person that I'd ever been friends with act like this after killing me. How he coped with the mental torture that was guilt I'll never know. To find out what Light was really thinking would have been intensely interesting... and probably hurtful, too.

They drove in silence, unaware that I was sitting in the back seat next to Light. Well, at least mimicking sitting in the back seat – being an intangible being or something-or-other had become agitating at times, particularly now. I'd just come back from Matsuda's apartment and had caught the two on their way out, and decided, for lack of anything else to do, to watch Kira's movements from there.

As the car finally pulled up in the driveway, I saw the door to the Yagami household open quickly, and Sayu Yagami jump out and run up to the car. "Dad, Light! You're so late; mum and I have been worried!"

Soichiro opened the car door to get out, only to be hugged very tightly by his only daughter before he had the chance. "Steady on, I missed you too Sayu." he said, returning the hug. "I'm sorry we're late back, there were a few complications that caused us to stay a bit later than usual."

_Oh yeah, **slight **complications is right..._

"Wow, I'm so tired tonight..." Light said as he exited the car. I slipped through the door and continued to watch the three of them. "Has mum got anything left over from dinner? Or just a packet of chips will do. I don't really want to make her cook another meal just for us."

Sayu made a playful face and giggled into her hands. "Remember to be careful, Light. You'll lose that nice slim figure that you have now. Then you won't be so popular with the girls."

Yawning and stretching casually, Light walked over to his sister and ruffled her hair affectionately, then headed inside. As I followed him into the house, I had to take a second look at everything – it seemed... somewhat different when you were actually there, instead of looking at it through cameras at any given number of angles at any given time.

Sachiko greeted Light and offered him some chips to eat, (it seems as though she already knew that he'd be wanting them) however he didn't respond much to her like a normal person would to their mother. He thanked her and took the packet of chips, but didn't really make much eye contact before heading up to his room. Of course, I'd expected this – we're talking about the man who is Kira – he is uncaring, and from what I've seen, an introvert as well. He seemed to prefer time to himself, as do I. Although... this may have just been an element that the Death Note had added to him rather than a normal part of his personality. To truly know, however, would have required me to have known him before the Kira case.

For a moment or two, I stopped there to watch the innocent majority of the Yagami family. Sachiko greeted her husband and took him into the dining room and offered him a seat, while Sayu came up to his side, looking up hopefully at him.

"Hey, dad, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. Do you need help with homework?"

"No... but... can you tell me about the Kira investigation?"

"It's strictly classified, Sayu." Soichiro said, arms crossed with a frown on his face. "I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to say anything about it – not even to out families. Please try to understand."

Sayu pouted, looking up at her father with a pair of puppy-dog eyes. "Aww, but dad, pleeeaaaase...?"

The taskforce member shook his head, and followed his wife into the kitchen. Sayu followed, still with boundless energy even at this hour, begging Soichiko to tell her things about Kira. I didn't follow them – there was no need. It would be much more interesting, and probably fruitfull, to follow Light into his room and see if he made anymore murder acts tonight.

I noticed quickly that his bedroom door was locked. I of course, didn't exactly need to worry much about that, and went straight into his room with barely a second thought. Light was busy putting the notebook in a secret compartment under his draw. Although he seemed to be doing it very delicately, as though one wrong move could be disastrous. I saw him take a pen's ink well from underneath the draw, which appeared to be what he'd used to open it. There must have been a small hole drilled in from underneath...

"Yes Ryuuk. I did it – finally. Looks like Kira shall be the God of the new world..."

There was a slight pause. I wasn't exactly sure on who Light was talking to. Unless... of course! There were two Death Notes. And in that case... that _should _mean... that there are also two Shinigami. This 'Ryuuk' must have been the other one...

"Stop smirking. He's dead – that's all there is to it. Lost to nothing."

With another pause, I was now positive that he was talking to a Shinigami. Light's face suddenly twisted into annoyance, crossing his arms and looking over at a spot on his bed.

"Ryuuk, tell me what the smirking's about."

...

"Tell me!"

...

"Fine. Have it your way. I swear that if anyone'll bring me down, it'll be you for your complete incompetence to tell me _anything!_"

It made me wonder... could Ryuuk the Shinigami see me, despite my inability to see him? It would explain why Light was telling thin air to stop laughing. Of course, it could always be something else. But still... this wasn't something that I really needed to know or care about – as Rem had said during one of our talks, most Shinigami would not take a side, and by the sounds of things, if there really was a Shinigami there, then he was only there for the joyride and not to help when the accidents happened.

I'm not sure why, but I'd already noticed that my hearing was a fair bit sharper. So sharp, that I noticed the very soft humming sound coming from the draw with the fake bottom. For once, curiosity overtook caution as I slowly pushed my hand through the draw, feeling around for a source. Of course, I didn't expect to feel anything – which was why I got such a shock when my hand made contact with an electrical wire, causing a few volts electricity to shoot through me. I gritted my teeth down, gasping and pulling my hand away.

_Okay, note to self – can still feel electrical currants..._

Then I realised my mistake – I hadn't gasped loudly, but I'm sure it would have been audible from Light's position. However, to my great relief, all that Light did was turn straight back to the thin air he was talking to earlier, and scolded it for apparently continuing to not tell him what was so funny.

"Whatever. I'll find it out myself eventually - like I need _your_ help. Now, anyway -"

...

"What do you mean 'don't do anything now'? Ryuuk, what's _wrong _with you? It's not as if any other invisible beings are in here, and if they are, they're just Shinigami and aren't going to care at all about this, I'm sure."

...

"Oh, fine then. I'll tell you later. But no apples until you tell me why you're being so secretive."

Obviously, I wasn't about to get very far at the moment. Even though Light was becoming doubtful and even a little angry with the Shinigami, I knew he'd listen to it for his own personal safety. After all, I knew very well that in his mind, that that would still become way before Kira ever did. And it was then I realised just how much of a split personality the youth possessed. It was like comparing a zebra and a giraffe – one personality was composed, happy for success, kind to his family and always willing to help. However the other one possessed great anger towards those who had done wrong, a god-like complex and a complete disreguard for plain human decency.

It was incredibly saddening to see the only friend that I'd ever had go down this terribly twisted route of no return. However, even so, I could still find feelings of anger and hatred, and even friendship towards him...

Light twitched as he went to pull the draw out, hesitating, and by the looks of things, mind buzzing at hundreds of miles an hour. After a second or two, he pulled his hand away from the draw, sitting down at his desk and crossing his arms, quite visibly thinking intensely. He didn't seem to make much more of a move except to eat the chips he had been given from his mother, until he announced to 'Ryuuk' that he was going to sleep.

I left, fairly convinced that Ryuuk probably wouldn't let him do much while I was there. But as I left the room... I began to start thinking as well. Could... could I honestly direct Matsuda and give him the information that he needed to arrest Light and condemn him to the electric chair? _Could _I really do that to my only friend...?

I really didn't know... But... it would stop him from doing such acts of evil... isn't that what a friend should do? Steer him in the right direction? But in doing so would mean that he'd have to die, fried by the electric chair... Just the moral guilt would be hard to bare, let alone doing it to a friend...

I knew I'd have to stop thinking like this. He was not ever my friend, although I tried to be his. The only exception was when he'd lost his memory. But as soon as he'd regained it...

He was Kira.

And Kira was an enemy.

Why I had to re-affirm this to myself was unknown. Maybe I'd become a little more pronounced on an emotional level... or maybe I just couldn't deal with the fact that someone who I desperately wanted as a friend was a supernatural killer picking off criminals in massive numbers, and had just been the cause of my own death earlier that day.

Suddenly, I became hardened...

Because, with or without a physical form, I was going to catch Kira.

And make it a stalemate.

**Author's Note**

Sorry for the long time without updating. I've been rather busy at the moment and I hope to keep the time frame between updates less than two weeks. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks and cookies too: Bexi, -Bista-, Vera-Sama, Eowyn Shadeslayer, Teenager, CaeliaDanan and puddingcup for their reviews!


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